Therapy Series: Understanding Your Story: Therapy That Focuses on What Has Happened to You

When considering therapy, it’s common to feel apprehensive or unsure about what to expect. Often, people worry that therapy might focus on diagnosing “what’s wrong” with them. However, therapy can—and should—be a journey of understanding what has happened to you and how those experiences have shaped your thoughts, emotions, and relationships. This shift in perspective is at the heart of compassionate and effective psychological care.

From “What’s Wrong” to “What Happened”

Many of us continue to carry the impact from our past formative experiences, whether they stem from relationships, societal pressures, trauma, or life challenges. These experiences often leave us with understandable reactions like anxiety, low mood, or difficulty trusting others. Instead of pathologising these responses, therapy aims to explore the context in which they arose, offering a deeper understanding of why you feel and behave the way you do.

This compassionate approach validates your experiences, helping you see that your responses are not flaws but meaningful reactions to difficult situations. This perspective can be profoundly healing and empowering, allowing you to approach yourself with more kindness and less self-blame.

How Do We Create This Story and Move Towards Healing?

Psychological formulation is a key part of therapy that helps create a personalised understanding of your unique difficulties and needs. Think of it as piecing together a puzzle of your experiences, emotions, and challenges to create a coherent picture. A formulation considers:

• Your Experiences - What key events and relationships have shaped your life? What threats have you faced, and how have they impacted your sense of safety or well-being? How have power dynamics—in relationships, systems, or society—influenced your experiences?
• Meaning-Making - How have you made sense of these experiences? What beliefs or narratives have emerged as a result?
• Patterns and Triggers - What situations or thoughts tend to lead to distress? How can you begin to stand back and observe triggers and create space before responding in a more helpful way?
• Your Strengths - What resources and coping strategies have helped you so far? When have you experienced safety and support in your relationships? Who can you reach out to for support when needed?

This collaborative process provides clarity, helping you and your therapist develop a roadmap for addressing your concerns. With this understanding, therapy becomes tailored to your needs, focusing on strategies that resonate with your experiences and goals.

Therapy as a Collaborative Journey

Therapy isn’t about fixing you because you are not broken. It’s about partnering with you to understand your unique story, identify the challenges you’re facing, and co-create a plan for moving forward. This might include:

• Building skills to manage distressing emotions.
• Strengthening relationships or setting boundaries.
• Exploring past experiences to heal and grow.
• Cultivating self-compassion and resilience.

Take the First Step

If you’re considering therapy, know that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Therapy can be a space of safety, understanding, and transformation. I am here to help you make sense of your experiences, find clarity, and create a path toward the life you deserve. You can read more about psychological therapy here, including the approaches that I use in therapy.

Reach out today to schedule an initial conversation. Together, we can begin the process of understanding your story and working toward meaningful change.